Let's Go to Phoenix!

The NBA All-Star teams have their rosters ready and I am pretty pleased with the results.

THANK YOU JESUS!

Here in Indiana we finally have our first real all-star (Jermaine The Drain O'Neal doesn't count) since Reggie. Danny Granger is the new hero of Conseco and his selection to the all-star team is well-deserved given the monster numbers he's been putting up all season.

Now if we could just start closing some games out...

That being said I think I'll run down the other all-star selections and toss out a few thoughts for each.

Eastern Conference

Allen Iverson- He got this on name power alone, he's bringing the Pistons down, Andre Igoudala or Mo Williams would've been a better choice.

Dwayne Wade- He's carried the Heat so far and is reminding everyone why he belongs in the same conversations with Kobe and Lebron.

Lebron James- MVP. period.

Kevin Garnett- He continues to be the trend setter for the defending champs, to bad some of that shine is wearing off thanks to his playground bully antics.

Dwight Howard- Is a beast, probable defensive player of the year, and top 5 candidate for mvp.

Chris Bosh- He's having a decent season statistically, unfortunately the Raptors just flat out suck. (that happens when Jermaine O'Neal takes up space on your roster)

Devin Harris- You think Mark Cuban is beating himself for letting Devin go in exchange for J. Kidd last year? He should be.

Rashard Lewis- Having a great season for the now-elite Orlando Magic, but I feel like Hedo Turkoglu deserved the spot more. He means more to the Magic than Lewis.

Jameer Nelson- Has taken his game to the next level and in my opinion is the main reason Orlando has ascended into the league's upper echelon.

Joe Johnson- He's been spotty this year but the Hawks are on a better pace than last year.

Paul Pierce- Self proclaimed best player in the world should be giving this spot to teammate Rajon Rondo.

Western Conference

Chris Paul- Hell yes. CP3 for the win.

Kobe Bean Bryant- Yes the Lakers are a great team, yes Kobe is an elite talent, that doesn't mean I have to like him.

Amare Stoudemire- The rim-smashing Amare is a distant memory now, he's never put it together defensively, and the revival of Old Man Shaq has Stoudemire on the outside looking in. Al Jefferson or Kevin Durant deserved this spot more.

Tim Duncan- TD is a constant, like death and taxes.

Yao Ming- Yao is one of the best centers in the game. Being popular in China doesn't hurt either when it comes to all-star voting. (Head shake for Chinese voters who almost voted Yi Jianlian over Kevin Garnett in the east.)

Shaquille O'Neal- IT'S ALIVE! Seriously though his presence destroyed the most entertaining team in recent memory.

Tony Parker- The best part about this is the TV cameras cutting to Eva Longoria in the crowd every ten seconds.

Dirk Nowitzki- His numbers this year are comparable to his mvp season, but the Mavericks are still slipping down the West's pecking order.

Pau Gasol- The Geico caveman stand-in is having a pretty good season, playing for the Lakers helps.

Brandon Roy- Another hell yes, the Blazers are on the rise and Roy is their best player.

Chauncey Billups- His arrival in Denver has re-energized a team that was faultering. He definitely deserves this spot more than teammate Carmelo Anthony.

David West- Round two for David who is a great player, but I can't help but feel like this spot belonged to Paul Millsap.

The Nominations Are In...

The Oscar nominations have been released by the academy and while I expected it I'm still a little disappointed that the Dark Knight wasn't nominated for best picture. I feel like it's status as a genre pic, and a comic book movie to boot is what held it back in the academy's eyes, and while I could just be overly critical of their decision it still saddens me. On a good note Mickey Rourke is up for best actor for his role in The Wrestler which is an excellent movie, if you haven't seen it yet I highly suggest you go right now. However regarding The Wrestler, Bruce Springsteen's amazing song The Wrestler written for the movie was completely shafted by the academy in the best original song category. Overall I give the oscars this year the thumbs down, how dare they not recognize The Boss.

Into the Breach

Today I have leapt headfirst into the foray of podcasting with my friend and fellow blogger Tom Collins author of Shotgun Renaissance. The podcast will hopefully be the first of many where Tom and I discuss at length movies, television, video games, professional wrestling, and anything else that tickles our fancy. If you are entertained at all by my blog it's safe to say this podcast will also entertain you. For now you can find the cast here only, but soon it may be more widely available, so take a listen and let me know what you think.

Kobe Makes Me Laugh, But Still Makes Me Sad

Hilarious, I'm really looking forward to the possibility of a Kobe v. Lebron finals. You know, so Lebron can put a beating to him.

And Now For Something Completely Different

I am hopeful for the future of this country. A change in the white house has been a long time coming, not just in person but in policy and attitude. Can we as a people change the direction our country was headed in for so long? I think you know the answer to that.

Ways to Waste Time: Bug Fight!

While the new year is still fresh, the cold winter is taking some of the shine off the gleaming calendar time. If the weather has got you down maybe it's time you picked up a new hobby, something engaging and entertaining, something like training insects to be your personal gladiators. Is there something inherently cruel in throwing two bugs into a cage and watching them fight? I imagine there is, that's why you stick with insects which are obviously spawn of the devil himself. Scorpions, wasps, centipedes, these are examples of insects who would readily kill you, your children, your friends, your dog, steal your house, steal your wife, steal your clicky-top pens, what I'm trying to say is they can't be trusted. So as usual Japan is way ahead of us on the bug fight front, as well as anything to do with technology. Observe. If that gets you down remember someday the bugs will evolve to this point.

The Nazi Bag

Have you ever been stuck trying to fabricate a credible antagonist for your novel/movie/videogame? If creating villainy seems to be just out of your creative reach allow me to present you with a solution to this problem. I give you the Nazi Bag. It seems like almost anytime a bad guy is needed movie producers and game developers will readily cast the Nazis as the force that must be defeated by the powers of good. Now I understand why it's easy to do, because the Nazis are the most obvious example of evil in our time. The Nazis were the real life villain, devoid of redeeming qualities, everyone will root for the good guy going up against them. The Bag has only been reached into if the movie/game/book is not World War II-centric, and a Nazi or Nazis are the antagonist. Over time I plan on compiling a list of Bag users to post here.

"probably looks something like this"

As Ridiculous As Hating Immigration

If you're a typical Midwestern American than chances are that you've cursed an illegal Mexican immigrant or two. Mexicans are immigrating into the United States at a frightening rate and Americans are not happy. So here's my plan: we all immigrate to Canada. The U.S. is already half Hispanic now, we might as well let them have the rest of it. We can all just march across the northern border right into the fertile lands of Canada. Before long Canada will become the U.S., the U.S. will become Mexico, and Mexico will become a barren lifeless desert. Devoid of all the Mexican farmers who now reside in the United States of Amexica to aerate the soil and bring life to the land, Central America will slowly erode away into the ocean, finally separating North and South America. Deprived of their favorite party destination Cancun, American spring breaker's frenzied energy will turn into uncontrollable rage that will be unleashed on the Amexican border. The Amexican country will be destroyed by a combination of drug and alcohol overdoses, and sexually transmitted diseases. Then Americans will be able to rightfully regain their lands, and have Canada's to boot.

The New World Order

Ways to Waste Time: The Podunkton Edition

This week's time muncher is pointed towards all the internet community lovers, all you myspacers and facebookers. Hop on over to podunkton.com to take part in an up and coming community along some of the same lines as the aforementioned websites. Podunkton offers users the chance to create a cartoon avatar to represent themselves and a nifty forum currency system that allows for the purchase of various accessories for the avatars to wear. Included in the website package are a number of flash games and cartoons chock full of laughs for your enjoyment. I have a feeling this site is gonna be big, so get in now so when the site blows up and all your friends join up you can look down on them for not being as cool as you are.

"the cheesed out grinning avatar of podunkton creator Jordan Miller aka Cycon"

The Olyphant Drinking Game

The next time you want to get good and Nick Nolte-drunk just try this Timothy Olyphant drinking game on for size. Pick out a movie that features one Timothy Olyphant. Every time Mr. Olyphant shoots the crazy eyes take a shot. He's a master of tossing out a look that says I'm going to violate you, and then possibly feast on your remains, it's really quite the performance. It doesn't matter what role he is playing, you're gonna get the look from him. Trust me you will be blitzed before you realize what's going on. Try not to look directly into his eyes though, it might scare you.

"Please stop undressing/stabbing me with your eyes"