Ways to Waste Time vol. 1

So you're sitting at your desk at work (not working obviously, you never do any work lazy American), and surprisingly enough you've grown tired of looking at pornography. Now you don't know what to do with your time, luckily enough for you every week now I will suggest possible ways to waste your time.

This week we kick off with some fellow blogs to read that will take a nice chunk out of your day, also hours of your life that you'll never get back. Use your little mouse thingy to scroll down this screen and locate my followed blogs list on the right. If you enjoy following the National Basketball Association and laughing as much as I do then Basketbawful and Hardwood Paroxysm are perfect for you. If you are a movie buff then Screen Savour has got all the movie reviews necessary to keep you rapt and staring at your computer screen long enoough for that little bit of drool to escape and drop on your keyboard because you don't close your mouth mouth-breather. Finally, if professional wrestling and pop culture referencing floats your floating contraption then Shotgun Renaissance will routinely poke you in that special place (your eye.)

New Years Resolutions (When you're too lazy to come up with your own)

With the new year right around the corner most of you will begin formulating your New Years resolutions to forget about two weeks into 2009. Instead of all that messy self analyzing searching for that thing you want to change, why not just pick from this handy list of resolutions I have crafted here for you.

I will quit smoking. (Boring)

I will lose weight. (I will describe this resolution with the name Paris Hilton, which I will from now on use as a derogatory term meaning vapid and uninteresting)

I will pledge my life to The Family International. (Slightly more interesting)

I will eat my body weight in marshmallow peeps over the course of two weeks. (Have fun with that)

I will no longer rely on my pack to encircle my prey (woolly mammoths), and will hunt on my own for the first time. (Now we're getting somewhere)

I will teach a monkey to race on a bicycle. (Hell yes!)

I will teach a lion to ride a horse. (Hell yes again!)

I will design and build an entirely new chromosome. (Okay your head is officially in the clouds now, time to come back to earth. You couldn't even build that computer desk from Ikea, stay away from genetic structures.)

Willis9's Best of 2008: The Music

Ever since the Native Americans invented music with drums made from clay and human flesh it has played an integral part in people stuff. Today's whirs and clicks are a far cry from what music began as, but I (an expert in all things that happen to be my opinion) now present what are in my opinion the best albums (I've listened to) released in 2008.


"The Dusty Foot Philosopher" - K'Naan

Yeah I know this album came out in Canada three years ago but it just made it to America this year so I'm happily including it on my list. This album combines hip-hop beats with world music and along with K'Naan's unique style make it easily one of the best rap albums of the year.

Choice Song - If Rap Gets Jealous


"The Quilt" - Gym Class Heroes

The Gym Class Heroes continue to translate their uptempo alt-hip-hop into success, and while this album isn't quite as good as their last it still ranks head and shoulders over most of the music put out this year.

Choice Song - Cookie Jar



"One of the Boys" - Katy Perry

This album may be girl power pop but Katy Perry does it better than anyone in recent memory. Not to mention being responsible for the catchiest damn single of the year. On a side note Katy Perry is hot, like real hot.

Choice Song - I Kissed A Girl



"Partie Traumatic" - Black Kids

Their debut album is packed full of songs that will be stuck in your head for days after listening. This is pop music at its best, energetic and catchy. Rolling Stone named the Black Kids one of their "Artists to watch" this year, and there is a reason for that.

Choice Song - I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance with You



"When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold" - Atmosphere

The beats and the lyrics are all top-notch, but what really sets this album apart is the rap duo's storytelling prowess. While the stories told are sad and can be a bit of a downer the music is excellent. Bonus points are given for the best album title of the year.

Choice Song - Yesterday



"Fight With Tools" - Flobots

If someone put a gun to my head and made me choose an overall best of the year album I would go with this one. The Flobots can be a tad preachy but their music is genre straddling and this album rates as the best of each genre that it touches this year.

Choice Song - Handlebars


"MC Chris is Dead" - MC Chris

Discover MC Chris. Listen to his music. Listen to this album. Do yourself a favor and go see him live. Hurry.

Choice Song - Nrrrd Grrrl


There are many albums I have yet to listen to that could probably make this list. 808's and Heartbreak comes to mind, maybe I'll update this later.

Lil Wayne sucks.

The Chairman of the Board

Look up pimp in the dictionary, ya know, if you're bored. The entry should look more like this.

Merry Christmas

We're only five days from Christmas and I'm ready for it, and ready to ring in the new year. The open of 2009 means only one thing: only six or so months before the launch of the Large Hadron Collider! So Merry Christmas from all one of us here. Next year scientists may tear a hole in reality, which would be awesome.